Oh my darling, Sepp Blatter. You think it doesn’t matter,
because you’re the cock o’ FIFA.
Well let me tell you now, you corruption-ridden sow,
I’ve been on the phone to my mate Kiefer.
We’ve called up the Yanks, who are lending us tanks
because even you are not exempt.
Yes, in this dark hour, it’s time for Jack Bauer
to come and arrest you for contempt.